Misinterpreted
by ChoppedLeeks
Summary: (by Chopped) Ishizu hears some suggestive noises coming from Malik and Mariku's room. What are those two psychopaths doing this time? Could be considered Bronzeshipping, I guess… Rated M because I'm super paranoid!


Misinterpreted

Summary:  Ishizu hears some… suggestive noises coming from Malik and Mariku's room. What are those two psychopaths doing this time? Could be considered Bronzeshipping, I guess…

* * *

Chopped: Wow. I'm writing a Humor fanfic. That's out of character…

Leeks:  Yeah, I agree. You are usually such a buzz kill…

Chopped: **twitch twitch**

Mariku: DISCLAIMER! ChoppedLeeks does not own Yu-Gi-Oh! All characters belong to Kazuki Takahashi. If they _did _own Yu-Gi-Oh, however, I would constantly have my pants around my ankles! HEHE!

Chopped: **drools**

Mariku: OH RA! A wild fangirl has appeared! Shoo, shoo!

Leeks: I am sincerely sorry about that. ON TO THE FANFIC!

* * *

Ishizu stomped down the hallway, heaving a massive bin of dirty laundry along the way. Why does _she _always have to do all of the work around the house? It wouldn't be _that_ hard for Malik, Rishid, and that psycho Mariku to _at least_ pick up after themselves, now would it? Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she has to do all the housecleaning! In fact, Ishizu was on the verge of kicking the three idiots out. Let's see how they can make it out there, in the cruel, harsh world without their precious big sister! They would have to get their own jobs, make their own food, WASH THEIR OWN UNDERWEAR! Ha! Ishizu would like to see the fools last a week without her!

The former priestess put her internal ranting to a halt when she reached Mariku's room. Anyone could tell which room was the yami's. It stood out quite a bit, with that blood stain gushing out on the white carpet from underneath the door. Ishizu gave up on cleaning it a while ago, since it always seemed to return the next day.

Ishizu dropped the laundry bin on the floor and proceeded to lift her hand to knock on the door. Her knuckles were just about to tap on the frame when she heard a noise coming from inside the bedroom. The sound caused her to freeze immediately, petrified. It was not a scream. _That_ was a noise she was used to (as odd as that is, it was quite common in the Ishtar household). No, this noise was of a different nature. The sound she heard was…

A moan.

Not a moan of pain. No, Ishizu knew this kind of moan. (A/N: How? I don't know. Maybe even the wise Ishizu watches gay porn!) It was an erotic moan of pleasure and ecstasy. The priestess' first guess would be that Mariku was jacking off or something, but the voice was much too feminine to belong to the Egyptian yami. Ishizu could make a couple of guesses as to who was behind Mariku's door. But she already knew for sure which one of those guesses was correct.

It was none other than her dear younger brother, Malik.

Now, why would innocent little Li-chan be moaning behind that door, that door that just so happened to belong to his sadistic yami? I'm sure that all of you, my dear readers, could make a pretty accurate guess.

Ishizu wasn't exactly surprised, horrified, or even furious. She was actually quite neutral to the entire situation. She saw it all coming, and she even predicted it without the great power of the Millennium Necklace. Ishizu saw the way the yami and hikari looked at each other. She witnessed the blush that would spread on both of the two Egyptian's cheeks when they accidently touched hands, or brushed past each other in the hallway. The priestess thought the whole thing was rather cute, but now that she heard her brother moaning like that… she was beginning to have second guesses. She could only imagine what was going on behind that door. Poor little Malik… robbed of his innocence at such a young age.

It was only natural for Ishizu to want to keep listening. She needed to make sure her dear brother was safe, of course! She had perfectly good reasons to not trust Mariku! So for this reason, and this reason _only_, Ishizu kept listening. She pressed her ear against the door, listening intently for any more sounds. It didn't take long at all…

"Mariku… are you sure I have to wear this?" Malik whined, "It seems so… unnecessary."

She heard Mariku let out a dark chuckle. "Oh, it's not necessary at all… but it makes it more fun, don't you think?"

"It definitely… adds to the experience." Malik said.

She heard movement from behind the door. "That's the spirit, hikari! Now, I must know, do you have any experience with this kind of thing?"

"No… I mean, not exactly. I've seen it on the internet before." Malik admitted.

Ishizu had to hold back a gasp. _Malik watches… porn? That seemed awfully out of character…_

"Good, good. I guess that means we can get started right away, then." Mariku said, a hint of excitement laced in his words.

"Okay… so I get in this position, right?" Malik asked, sounding unsure.

Mariku was silent for a second, probably reveling in the sight of his hikari in a naughty sex position.

"Hmm… I guess you could try that. But I find it more efficient to do it like… ah… this."

Ishizu shuddered at the thought of what Mariku looked like at the moment.

"Oh, yami! You're a genius! I never would have thought of that!" Malik praised his dark half.

Ishizu could practically _hear_ Mariku's smirk. "Thank you, Malik-pretty. I live to please… now let's get started. We'll start out easy, since this is your first time, and all. "

"O-okay…" Malik murmured.

"First things first, I have to stretch you out. Get in position, hikari-koi." Mariku ordered.

Ishizu heard the younger of the two shift position behind the door. Oh Ra… she could only image what her younger brother was thinking at the moment.

"Perfect. Are you ready…?" the darker half asked.

"Yes." Malik confirmed.

Immediately, Ishizu heard Malik let out a low groan, causing Mariku to snicker. Her hands clasped over her mouth.

"It feels... so… weird!" Malik gasped.

"I know, hikari. You'll get used to it. Just let your body adjust." Mariku said, obviously attempting to be reassuring.

The two stayed silent for a second.

"…Okay. I think I'm good now." Malik said.

Ishizu heard the two move once again. "Oh really, Malik? So soon?"

"Mhm. I'm ready." Malik replied, sounding quite determined.

"Just spread your legs a little farther… there. Perfect." Mariku murmured, definitely sounding liking he was enjoying himself. "Now hikari, when I move down, you're going to move up, got it?"

"Yup."

"Okay… and THERE!"

Ishizu heard both of the boys moan in unison.

"OH G-GOD, YAMI! IT HURTS SO BAD!" Malik nearly screamed the words.

Mariku, on the other hand, seemed much more composed. "I know, my light, I know… just keep your body relaxed. Don't tense up."

"I DON'T EVEN THINK IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO BEND THAT WAY!" the hikari screamed.

"Shh, habibi… It'll feel good once you get used to it, trust me. The end result is _amazing_." Mariku whispered. "I'm going to move down now, okay?"

Malik merely whimpered in response.

Ishizu heard the unmistakable sound of Mariku's pleasure. It was a loud growl that most definitely didn't seem like it should be coming out of any _normal _human's throat.

"GOOD, HIKARI! V-VERY GOOD! KEEP GOING!" the darker half commanded, despite the fact that he seemed rather breathless himself.

"M-MARIKU! I DON'T THINK I CAN STAND ANY MORE!" Malik yelled at the top of his lungs.

"ME NEITHER! JUST ONE MORE, OKAY?" Mariku hollered.

_OH NO THEY DIDN'T!_ Ishizu could tell that the two Egyptians were almost at their limits, and she was most definitely at the limit of her patience. She would not let Mariku take her baby brother's innocence so easily!

Ishizu busted through the bedroom door, not really caring about the sight that would greet her. Either way, what she saw was far from expected.

There sat Mariku and Malik, both currently on the floor. The pair was wearing matching outfits, consisting of neon leg warmers, sweatbands, tights, and shorts. They were both in _very _uncomfortable looking positions, their bronze skin covered in sweat, both panting. Their matching violet eyes were glued to the television screen, which was currently playing a workout tape on mute.

It all made sense now… and Ishizu was left feeling like a giant pervert.

Mariku and Malik collapsed on the floor in surprise, both of them taking in huge gasps of air. The darker half sat up, groaning as he did so. "Ishizu… what're you doing here?" Mariku asked.

Ishizu scratched the back of her head, giggling nervously. "O-oh, nothing… I just wanted to check up on you."

Malik sat up as well. "Ugh… can two men not do some hardcore yoga in peace?"

Mariku nodded in agreement, giving Ishizu an icy glare. But it was quite hard to take the yami seriously, given his current 80's workout attire.

The priestess put her hands up in defense. "Sorry! Sorry! I'll leave you be!"

And with that, Ishizu slowly backed out of the room.

"_Thank you_!" Mariku huffed, and turned back to his hikari.

"Now, Malik… where were we?" he whispered, his voice low and seductive.

Ishizu quickly speeded out of the room, slamming the door behind her, not wanting to hear any more. She sighed, wiping some sweat from her forehead.

Yeah… she was definitely kicking them out of the house now.

* * *

Chopped: Heh heh… I made a funny.

Mariku and Malik: O.O

Leeks: Never will I EVER allow you to write a Humor again!

Chopped: **huff**

…BAI! I hope you enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it! Heh heh…


End file.
